Posted by in Features.

You try to enter your password on the microwave.

You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.

You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

You chat several times a day with a stranger from South America, but you haven’t spoken to your next door neighbour yet this year.

You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date.

Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do not have e-mail addresses.

You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person.

You’ve sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.

Your CV is on a diskette in your pocket.

You learn about your redundancy on the 9 o’clock news.

Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose all your best jokes.

Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more likely to get long-service awards.

You know exactly how many days you’ve got left until you retire.

Interviewees, despite not having the relevant knowledge or experience, terminate the interview when told of the starting salary.

The work experience person gets a brand new state-of-the-art laptop with all the features, while you have time to go for lunch while yours powers up.

There’s no money in the budget for the five permanent staff your department is short of, but they can afford four full-time management consultants advising your boss’s boss on strategy.

Holiday is something you roll over to next year.

Every week another brown collection envelope comes round because someone you didn’t know had started, is leaving.

You wonder who’s going to be left to put into your ‘leaving’ collection.

Your relatives and family describe your job as works with computers.

You read this entire list, kept nodding and smiling.