Posted by Ronan Scully in Features.

It is hard to accept the death of a loved one, especially when you didn’t have the chance to say goodbye and it seems like an irreplaceable part of your world is gone. Sometimes you never truly understand grief until it hits you hard in the face. The grief and the pain can be unbearable. You never really now what it’s like until you are there yourself, but you look to God because he’s the only one who can comfort you.

A sudden loss, such as the death of my friend Donal and also my Aunt Catherine a few years ago, makes me realise the brevity of life. We often take life for granted. Their death made me sit down and reflect. It made me take time to appreciate the loved ones in my life because I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. It made me put things in perspective. I want to live life and love it; I don’t want to spend my life being unhappy or dissatisfied. I want to put a smile on my face and indeed on others’ faces because that’s what can make a dark day seem bright.

For those who can identify with me in grief make it your aim to try to look past it and move on. My friend and Aunt are gone; I cannot bring them back, but, at least in memory of them, I can live a life that I know they would be proud of.

Death opens our eyes, showing us that the only time that matters is right now. Death teaches us a simple lesson. That is, forget about yesterday; it’s over and tomorrow may never come. We haven’t seen today before, so live it as well as you possibly can. Stop putting things off. The only people who should be afraid of death are those who haven’t lived, those who say, “I’ll do it, when I get around to it,” or “I will tell him or her I love him or her tomorrow.” If you don’t live today, your tomorrows will run out. Live life now, tell people now, when their eyes are open, “I love you,” Tomorrow it might be too late.


A little word of love and kindness during a person’s life is worth far more than all the speeches after their death. Sometimes we leave it too late and we think about the many things we could have done to make someone just a little bit more happy, a little bit more loved or cared for. I notice at times of funerals, how people people try to out-do one another in buying the most beautiful wreath of flowers for the grave. I often think, did these people ever think of giving the person who died beautiful flowers when they were alive so they could smell the beautiful fragrance and really cherish the gift? The following prayer summarises what I mean.

Don’t leave it too late

If ever you are going to love me, love me now while I know.
All the warm and tender feelings from real affection flow.
Love me while I am living. Don’t wait till I am gone.
And then chisel it on marble…warm love words on ice stone.

If you have dear thoughts about me, why not whisper them to me?
Surely they would make me happy and as glad as glad as can be.
If you wait till I am sleeping, never more to wake again.
There’ll be walls of earth between us and I cannot hear you than.

If you knew someone were thirsting for a drink of water sweet,
Would you then be slow in bringing it? Would you step with laggard feet?
There’s a tender heart right near you that is thirsting for your love.
Why should you refuse to give it, since God sent it from above?

You have flowers in your garden, some are white and some are red.
Give them to me now while I am living. I can’t see them when I’m dead.
I won’t need your fond caresses when the grass grows over my face.
I won’t want your love and kisses in my last resting place.

For if you are ever going to love me, if for just a little bit.
Won’t you love me while I am living so I can treasure it?

Thought for the week

As your thought for this week, remember not to leave it until it’s too late.