Suicide & Lipstick I had a discussion with my friend about mental health in these covid days and that sometimes things that help each of us or work for each of us are so diverse. The mainstream approach doesn’t work for everyone but it does work for many, so it’s definitely worth a go before you make up your mind. If it doesn’t then keep searching until you know what does. There is no one size fits all. For me, for years, I suffered from anxiety and depression until I eventually stumbled upon holistic therapies and sheer noseyness took me off to a class, simply to see how the other half lived! 
I did not expect it to work, my ignorance humbled me, because it did work for me. There was light in my tunnel. In fact it worked so well for me that I deep dived into the field and became obsessed enough to start my own business to show others how to make it work for them too. When you have known that dark hole, you don’t ever want anyone in there. Eventually the business end of things got so busy and so successful that I began to not have time to do it for myself, I was working around the clock and it ceased to work for me because well, I wasn’t practicing. One bright day when I realised my error, I literally pulled the plug mid-stride in my business plan! The cost was too high and I may be a lot of things but a hypocrite is not one. I knew its value to others but I wasn’t going to teach anyone methods I didn’t have time to use myself because all the teaching had stopped me looking after myself. I have learned a lot about myself, I’m all or nothing. My husband has been telling me for years but how I handled my business slapped me across the face with my struggle with balance. One day busy, next day I had upended it.One day I had 3000 followers on Instagram, the following day, I deleted the page! This page survived because Facebook made me hibernate it first, so it spent a year deactivated and lockdown prompted me to open it up and set up a private group to teach reiki methods for free… and then I started writing again and away we went, but I diverse. In the time I stepped away from social media and my business I went through many ups and downs and many revelations about myself. The number one revelation was that these downs were not depression, they were simply cycles of down time, but not down-and-out times. There was a massive difference. I had tools to get me out of a hole, and having them was enough to help me not fall in. Were they Unconventional Tools? YES! Did it keep me breathing? YES! Does anyone have the right to diss my practice? Absolutely not.Who cares what it is that works for you. My friend was suicidal. She went to the doctor and he looked at her and told her that she wasn’t.She said she was. He said she wasn’t.His reasoning being that she looked too good, she had her lipstick on, if she were really suicidal, she wouldn’t have been interested in lipstick. She left deflated and drained with a prescription for a mild antidepressant. That was a very long time ago. GPs are far more understanding now.His words while archaic and WRONG, struck a cord with her and made her realise she was at a fork in the road. She felt dismissed and now she was alone deciding what to do next. She could prove him wrong right now, it was already planned in finite detail, or she could take one step in a different direction. He did not realise that her determination to get up and put her face on meant she was capable of anything. She frightened herself of how capable she was of leaving and she asked for help. She did not get it and sometimes we don’t get the help we need where we think we should find it, but it doesn’t mean there isn’t help out there to find. She found her prescription in a combination of staying away from alcohol, an early night and a makeup blog! Relief might be at the bottom of a bottle of wine or at the end of an online shopping spree, but the answer isn’t there.My experience of GPs is different to my friends, and it is definitely my first port of call if I feel off. The conventional route is tried and tested, and shouldn’t be dismissed. I don’t believe in alternative medicine. I believe it’s all complimentary, there’s room for it all working together. I’m often prescribed to go for a walk up a mountain because that’s what works for me. I can honestly say nowadays I walk with a pep in my step most days now and my friend and her lipstick perfect face is good too. Great even. Some laugh at her fancying herself as a blogger, they don’t know it’s not for them, it’s her therapy. She turned it around but she never lost sight of where she had been. I haven’t either, it’s impossible to come this far and feel the light on your face and forget.To anyone feeling like there isn’t a way out, there’s always a way out. You were born to thrive and flourish. If what you’re doing isn’t working for you, try something new and don’t be afraid to say NO. I had to say no to clients and financial support from my business, my head said don’t stop my clinic, my heart impulsively pulled the plug over night. My heart was right. It always is. Not every answer is the most worn track, sometimes a detour is not just an indulgence it’s the answer and sometimes it’s just the scenic route, but by taking it you learn. The secret? Discipline. Non negotiable discipline. Whenever you find what helps, make it a non negotiable ritual. If a slow stroll down the road is your nirvana, then do not let Hail•Rain•Snow stop you…. except for ice…icy roads might stop you! You get the drift, don’t assume that because you feel better now that you don’t need your tools. Tools are always handy to have, practice and discipline keeps you between the walls.I am living proof that a diversion from the one cap fits all is workable. Health is a fragile gift, mental health especially, setting the intention to search for what works is often enough to set the universe and synchronicity in motion and then all sorts of newness can open up for you to try… and hopefully you’ll grow nosey like me… curiosity might have killed the cat, but it opened up a whole new world to me… a tie dye, rainbow coloured one!Never give in. Never give up. Do the next obvious thing that causes the least harm, you were born to survive and thrive.
